Thursday, June 30, 2005

What a relief!

Let me tell you what a relief it is not to be able to worry about what I eat.
This entry is not about my recent kitchen adventure. This post is about letting your belly hang over your belt and breathing a SIGH of relief.
I was on a diet for the past two weeks because of a photo shoot where i was one of the 'models'. This photo shoot, scheduled for 3 full days was for an image library that was to be used by the whole of Asia for years to come. The pressure to 'perform' so to speak was HUGE. Top add fear to this huge burden was the fact that day TWO involved a pool shot in a bikini. Imagine the nightmare i've been living in!!

So for the past two weeks, i've avoided carbs for dinner, and generally cut out half my social life declining invitations for late dinners that i knew would leave me crawling into bed filled with alcohol and a heavy meal.

And let me tell you, I was miserable.

I denied myself my constant cravings for dessert (actually, i really should learn how to curb this bad BAD habit), I tried to keep my baking adventures to a bare minimum to avoid tempting myself, even if it meant licking the mixing bowl. I was crabby from the lack of sugar and crabby from waking up every morning hungry and STILL seeing the same old me in front of the mirror.

My End of Diet Fantasy
In the last leg of this marathon of denial (i know, it was ONLY two weeks - but truly, it felt like a gruelling eternity), I was starting to fantasize about the treats I would give myself at the end of this dreaded shoot. There was my chocolate Fantasy - max brenner's Chocolate Heaven in the Esplanade - i was laughing about it to another chocolate fanatic friend that we would skip dinner and have chocolate waffles, the molten chocolate cake and their brownies with ice cream all in one sitting!
And there was all the junk food I was going to allow myself. And the pasta, and the bread, and attempting another batch of cinnamon rolls jam packed with slabs of butter and ENJOYING it without guilt.

And i talked to my boyfriend about going for a REALLY nice meal together at a restaurant and not wondering how much butter went into that delightful plate of scallops.
Already, he had been complaining that i was no fun on a diet. There was so much I could not do.

My list of indulgences started after the 2nd day of my shoot. By this time, I had decided it was too late to diet - PLUS the bikini shot was over. I ended my night at 11pm with a chocolate brownie and vanilla ice cream from Haagen Daazs.
on the last day of the shoot, we all had take away Burger King for dinner. A double cheeseburger, onion rings and a large coke. Honestly, it was at this point that I felt like throwing up. It was a big shock to the system, and no matter how nice the idea of junk food when you feel like you've been starving yourself for years, junk food is still junk food. Plastic and chemical and too much of it on a newly shrunk stomach is never a good idea.

In the past 3 days, i have also had a Kit Kat Chunky, mee goreng, durian, some mashed potato with truffle from a dinner i was helping a chef with last night, tarte tartin with pear and ice cream, savouring the charred caramelised puff pastry. I have to admit, I couldn't quite shake off the feeling of guilt after it though.

Tonight, i've got my date at a fancy restaurant which I'm thrilled to bits about. Going to St Pierre with the bf. I first read about st Pierre in the Wall Street Journal before i even moved to Singapore. The food critic had given the restaurant a full 5 stars, rating it as a top notch French restaurant. It'll be interesting to see for myself.

Here's to a weekend of indulgence and enjoying the joys of food!


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